


Hoodie

by aw_doll_no



Series: Winterhawk Playlist [1]
Category: Hawkeye (Comics), Marvel, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Emotional Hurt, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Post-Break Up, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-07
Updated: 2020-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:13:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23057527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aw_doll_no/pseuds/aw_doll_no
Summary: I can't keep your loveI can't keep your kissGave you everything and all I got was this
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Clint Barton
Series: Winterhawk Playlist [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1657075
Kudos: 29





	Hoodie

**Author's Note:**

> Hoodie by Hey Violet

_You'd probably think I was psychotic (if you knew)  
What I still got in my closet (sad but true)  
Slip it on over my shoulders  
Something I'll never get over  
It makes me feel a little bit closer to you_

_I can't keep your love  
I can't keep your kiss  
Gave you everything and all I got was this_

>>>\------>

_Clint... I think we need to talk_

We need to talk. We need to talk. We need to talk. These words will haunt him forever. They play on repeat again and again and they won't stop. He will hear them in different voices but it'll always end the same way. It hurts. It always ends in pain. Pain for Clint. Nobody stays. He sits in front of the closet pulling Bucky's hoodie from the back.

_... maybe this was too soon..._

Maybe it was too soon. Maybe they went too far. Maybe it wasn't meant to be. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Maybe Clint shouldn't have hoped. Maybe Clint shouldn't have thought that this time would be different. He slips the hoodie on over his shoulders.

_... I love you, I always will..._

Does he? Will he? Did he ever? Bucky's brain played tricks on him plenty of times was this one of those times? Was it love or did he only think it was love? Could it have been lust? Could it have been the loneliness? Could it have been a crush? Could it have been love? It could but apparently it wasn't enough. Clint feels the fabric between his fingers.

_... It's better for the both of us..._

It's not. It's better for Bucky. Because now he's free. He's able to do whatever he wants with whoever he wants. But Clint? He's going to stay here. Right here. Alone and brokenhearted. He pulls the hood over his head.

_... I'm sorry_

They always are.

>>>\------>

_I'm still rocking your hoodie  
And chewing on the strings  
It makes me think about you  
So I wear it when I sleep  
I kept the broken zipper  
And cigarette burns  
Still rocking your hoodie  
Baby, even though it hurts  
Still rocking your_

_I used to put my hand in your pockets (holding on)  
The smell of your cologne is still on it (but you're still gone)  
Slip it on over my shoulders  
Someone I'll never get over  
Makes me feel a little bit closer to you_

_I can't keep your love  
I can't keep your kiss  
Gave you everything and all I got was this_

>>>\------>

Natasha sits on the floor watching her best friend suffering. She doesn't believe in love but Clint does. He believes in a butterflies filled stomach. He believes in 'happily ever after'. He believes in 'till death do us apart'.

She believes that love is for children but she won't say it. She won't mock him. She won't laugh at him. She won't say I-told-you-so. She won't ignore him until everythings over. No. She will do what a best friend is supposed to do.

When he sits there silent, she sits with him.  
When he talks, she listens.  
When he cries, she dries his tears.  
When he wants to be alone, she leaves.  
When he looses all hope, she comforts him with sweet little lies.

It's not the first break-up and it won't be the last but while everybody else might leave, Natasha will stay because they are not friends but a family. So she sits on the floor watching her brother suffering while he's wearing the hoodie of the man who broke him.

>>>\------>

_I'm still rocking your hoodie  
And chewing on the strings  
It makes me think about you  
So I wear it when I sleep  
I kept the broken zipper  
And cigarette burns  
Still rocking your hoodie  
Baby, even though it hurts  
Still rocking your hoodie  
And chewing on the strings  
It makes me think about you  
So I wear it when I sleep  
I kept the broken zipper  
And cigarette burns  
Still rocking your hoodie  
Baby, even though it hurts  
Still rocking your_

_If you want it back  
If you want it back  
I'm here waiting  
Come take it back  
Come take it back  
If you want it back  
If you want it back  
I'm here waiting  
Come take it back  
Come take it back_

>>>\------>

There is a knock on the door but Clint is not in the mood to see anyone right now so he just decides to ignore it. For a moment it gets louder then it stops.

Clint let's out a sigh and closes his eyes. Relaxing he sinks back into the couch. Untill he hears a key turn and the door open. His eyes snap back open and he tries to peak over the backrest. Clint isn't sure whether it's disappointment or relief when he sees that Steve stands in the middle of the living room.

"Oh hi," Steve says awkwardly, "didn't know you where here. I mean I knocked but actually I thought you were at work."

 _I should be._ Clint did wrote a text but he put away his phone without waiting for an answer. Maybe it's okay. Maybe they told him to come in immediately. Maybe he's fired now. But that's none of Steve's business. Who cares anyway?

"Um well." Sheepishly Steve rubs his neck. "Bucky asked me to get something of his so..." He points over his shoulder to the bedroom waiting for Clint to react.

Clint for his part just lays back down. He's tired. So tired. Always tired. He thought he would cry just hearing Bucky's name but nothing happens. The pain didn't stop, he only stopped caring.

It doesn't take long before Steve stands in front of the couch. He has a worried expression on his face. It looks like he wants to say something but the words don't come out. His eyes switch to Clint's hoodie and he starts to frown.

"If he wants it back, he needs to get it himself," Clint says. He takes out his hearing aids and throws them on the couch table. Turning his back to Steve he closes his eyes and waits for sleep to come.

>>>\------>

_I'm still rocking your hoodie  
And chewing on the strings  
It makes me think about you  
So I wear it when I sleep  
I kept the broken zipper  
And cigarette burns  
Still rocking your hoodie  
Baby, even though it hurts  
I'm still rocking your hoodie  
And chewing on the strings  
It makes me think about you  
So I wear it when I sleep  
I kept the broken zipper  
And cigarette burns  
Still rocking your hoodie  
Baby, even though it hurts  
I'm still rocking your hoodie  
And chewing on the strings  
It makes me think about you  
So I wear it when I sleep  
I kept the broken zipper  
And cigarette burns  
Still rocking your hoodie  
Baby, even though it hurts  
I'm still rocking your hoodie_

>>>\------>

Clint stands in the kitchen. It's progress he says to himself even when he's just staring at the wall. There's knocking on the door and Clint wants to scream. Can he have some peace just for a day? It shouldn't be too much.

Sighing he makes his way over. Opening the door his breathing stops. Bucky stands there. Clint feels like he should say something but what do say in a situation like this? _Hey how are you? Long time no see._ With a smile on your face like nothing happened?

Bucky seems to have focused on Clint clothes and Clint realizes why he came. Turning around he walks back into the kitchen leaving the door open.

It doesn't take long before he hears footsteps slowly coming closer. Conversations should be held face to face but he can't do it.

"No!" It's vehement and loud and Clint doesn't know where that strength came from. His mouth works without his mind. "You can't have it. I know that I said that you can have it back once you get it and I know it's yours and I didn't have any right to take it and I don't have any right to keep it but you can't take it. You just can't. This- this hoodie isn't even important to you. You don't even like it that much. How often did you complain about the holes and the zipper and- and you forget it here so it can't be that important." He turns around his blue eyes pleading. "You don't need it but I do. Don't take it away from me."

Bucky is focused on a point over Clint's shoulder his face neutral but that changes when his eyes meet Clint's. Bucky's face turns determined. "I don't want it back. Honestly I don't give a damn about this thing." He takes a step closer. "I don't want the hoodie back. I want _you_ back."

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](https://aw-doll-no.tumblr.com/post/611972410718191616/hoodie)


End file.
